Careless, but not Reckless

The D.A. made the determination that the driver's actions did not constitute criminal negligence, so he sent the case back to the police. The police are charging him with careless driving, (legal nerds can click here for the statute) which is a serious offense but does not require a grand jury. He'll have to face a judge, at a time and place that is public and will likely be covered by the local press, but Eric is not required to be there or testify. He will plead guilty, and be sentenced to $12,500 fine, which will be waived if he takes a traffic safety course and completes 100-200 hours of community service.

Most of the things we heard in the beginning turned out to be untrue or exaggerated. He did have a valid drivers license (we had heard he did not);  the police did receive information about his poor driving record at his previous job, but it turned out there was only one minor incident, not involving pedestrians, and he was never formally reprimanded. (We had been told he lost his job due to poor driving.) His driving record is pretty clean, and his doctor administered tests after the accident and saw no evidence of decreased mental capacity or reaction time that would justify a call to the DMV.

The driver has been very cooperative, and has not sought to shift blame for the accident. As clear as it is that his actions caused this accident, many drivers would blame the car, the sun's glare or the pedestrians for jumping in front of him. He has not even hired an attorney. He's told the police, his wife and his doctor that he'll never drive again, and they believe him.

As difficult as this is, I think it is the best case scenario for me and Eric. We can close this chapter after Jan. 27 (his trial date) and know that we likely will never have to hear another word about him after that. The story will fade from the public consciousness, and we can retain our anonymity.

"Did you find everything OK?"
"Yes thanks. How's your day going?"
"Not too bad. You?
"Pretty good. Shame about those ducks."
"Eh, what are you going to do. They put up a hell of a fight."
"That's true. Enjoy the rest of your day."
"Thanks, you too."
 
These are the conversations we used to take for granted. I probably appear to be a little over-dramatic about the media aspect. I've discussed the horrible intrusive actions by certain reporters, but the ripple effect of media coverage is that when we go out in our neighborhood and/or our community we have no idea if people know who we are or what happened. Some people tear up at the mere sight of us, even though we have never really interacted with them beyond a cash register or across a bar. Others do nothing, or ask how Seamus is doing. We never know what to expect but we have to be prepared for anything.

There is a cashier at New Seasons who definitely knows. She looks at us with these big sad eyes and once put her hand on Eric's shoulder and said, "How ARE you?" Another cashier asked Eric how the "little guy" was doing the other day, which sent him into a minor tailspin. "Fine," was his reply.

A few weeks ago, we were out to an early dinner and the only other people in the restaurant were two of my former coworkers from a job I had for about six months in 2009, right before I got the job at PCC. I was mortified. Did they know? What if they talked to me and they didn't know? They'll definitely ask about Seamus. Do I tell them? Do I pretend like nothing happened? Do I ignore them? If they do know and they don't say anything, then that makes them assholes, right? I ended up ignoring them and they ignored me but I had a pit in my stomach for hours afterward.

So if we are anxious for this event to fade from the public awareness, it's out of a desire to go through the the normal course of our day without encountering these emotional minefields. My worst fear is for pictures of us or our house to wind up on the news or in the paper, allowing even more distant acquaintances or neighbors make the connection. Every little bit of life that feels "normal" allows our minds to relax and come out of "fight or flight" response mode and focus our attention on each other, Seamus and our healing process.